Whisper it in hushed tones, but a rumor’s swirling through the internet, a delicious tidbit juicier than a scoop straight from Lady Whistledown herself: Our girl Selena Gomez is rumored to be pregnant! Cue the collective gasp of millions, the frantic refreshing of social media feeds, and the inevitable flurry of speculation.

The Case of the Missing Baby Daddy: Neither Benny Nor Justin Need Apply!

Here’s where things get interesting (read: completely bonkers). Sources close to the situation (okay, fine, anonymous sources on Twitter who may or may not work for gossip blogs) are saying that neither Benny Blanco nor Justin Bieber – two of Selena’s most high-profile exes – are the father.

Wait, what?!” shrieked the internet, collectively spilling its metaphorical tea.

Suddenly, everyone’s a detective, meticulously analyzing Selena’s every Instagram post, every paparazzi shot, every fleeting mention on TikTok, searching for clues like it’s a real-life episode of “Law & Order: Celebrity Baby Daddy Unit.

” (Someone pitch that to Dick Wolf, stat!)

Mystery Dates and Whispered Identities: The Hunt for the Father is On!

Adding fuel to the fire? Those recent sightings of Selena out and about with a “mystery man.” Grainy photos captured by eagle-eyed fans show fleeting glimpses of a figure by Selena’s side, his features obscured by shadows, a strategically placed baseball cap, or (in one particularly blurry instance) a giant novelty foam finger.